going to the dr...

I am not a fan of the Dr.

I just don't like going.

But, my husband finally convinced me, I needed to go because I haven't been feeling all that great for a while. 

When I was younger, I dealt with some thyroid issues.  They always said it was because I was on another medication, and that it made it hard to diagnose it, but that was what they thought it was.

Well, now that I am off that other medication.... I am experiencing more and more symptoms of hypothyroidism.

Here are the most common symptoms...


Feeling tired, weak, or depressed. (These last few weeks, I can barely get out of bed.  I am sleeping a lot, but I just feel...tired.)


Dry skin and brittle nails. (Check, and check.  I can lather in lotion in the morning and night...with no evidence.  Hair?  It's all falling out.  Seriously.)


Not being able to stand the cold.  (I used to be okay...not anymore...especially my hands and feet.  I cannot stand being cold.)


Memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly.  ( I feel like my brain is in a fog.  I used to be REALLY good at remembering things, like numbers and names, and now I just feel... slow.)


Heavy or irregular menstrual periods.  (All my life.  Hmmm....)

Joint or muscle pain.  (Yes, and yes.)

Weight gain (unintentional).  (A BIG yes.  I have been eating around 1000 to 1200 calories a day, and exercising...and I am still GAINING weight.  Ugh.)

Those are the big symptoms... and I have all of them.

Do you ever feel like you are being judged by your Dr. though when you come in with a self diagnosis?!?  I know its just the Internet, and I could probably diagnose myself with around 100 different thing...but this is different.  I am seeing a new Dr. this time, because my old Dr. retired.

Nervous, but looking forward to my Dr.'s appointment...hoping for some answers.  Prayers appreciated.    

ahhh...life.

Life always seems to get in the way.

I have great intentions of blogging... and then.... I just run out of time.

Between cooking, cleaning, being a wife, leading youth group, work, getting sick, prayer night, family time, trying to go to the gym, and then trying to find a small amount of me time...it seems like I only have time to READ blogs...not write on my own.

My goal this week is to post at least twice.  Hopefully.

Until then...

on a roll...

I was on such a good roll of blogging....and then that darn thing called LIFE got in the way. 

Let' see.... what have I been up to???

I was treated to a VERY special weekend before Valentine's Day with my hubby:  

Saturday morning, we drove about 40 minutes from our home to a WONDERFUL paradise... for a little rest, relaxation, and LOVE. 

The resort is in a SMALL little down north of us...and it was just...Perfect.  

Our weekend involved lots of time spent cuddling, reading, sitting by our fireplace, and just enjoying each other. 

And LOTS of time spent in this amazing jaccuzi tub.  Seriously, I want one of these in my house.

We ate AMAZING food in their little restaurant, and never actually left the building.  

It was exactly what we needed.

On the actual Valentine's Day, I was surprised in my classroom by a beautiful bouquet delivered from my man.  We enjoyed yummy food at our favorite hole in the wall restaurant, and came home and watched Valentine's Day.  Love that movie.  Except for the fact that Patrick Dempsey is a cheater.  Yuck. 

We celebrated with cookies and candy in my classroom, accompanied by a major sugar rush around 3:10.  Good thing I got to send them home at 3:25. 

Ryan and I have been busy it seems recently.... between church, youth group, prayer night, school, work, getting sick... but we have also been feeling very close.  Good close.  

I heard the word 'intimacy' describe the other day as 'into me see'.  That so so true.  

Hoping to get back on track with my blogging... yay for Wednesday already!  

  

great expectations...

So excited that today...I am a GUEST BLOGGER over at Wide Open Spaces!

Jordan is one of my favorite writers... I started following her blog from my friend Krislyn's blog; Spreading her Wings. 

Here is my L.O.V.E. story!

I can distinctly remember being 13-years-old and crossing the day off my calendar with a dull black sharpie.

February the 14th would come around and everyone would have their bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates, large and slightly annoying balloons, and walk around school flaunting them for all to see.

My Valentine’s Day looked a little bit different. I would spend the day with my dad. Wearing all black. At the shooting range. It gave me something to look forward to, and some good quality time with my dad. And after getting my heart broken by a guy a few years ago, that target bore quite a similar resemblance.

I met my (now) husband at the end of February 2010. As Pride and Prejudice would say, he ‘bewitched me, body and soul’, and we quickly knew we would be together forever. Five months to the day of our first date, Ryan got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.

When the next February rolled around, I had some HIGH expectations for Valentine’s Day. After all, it was going to be my very first experience of a true Valentine’s Day.

I pictured chocolates, dinner out, a mushy card, lots of kisses, time spent looking deep into each other’s eyes and him telling me everything he loved about me...I wanted ROMANCE.

However, I forgot one big thing.

Being that Ryan a) was a man, and b) had never done Valentine’s Day before either, he was….clueless.

THE BIG DAY landed on a Monday and I remember getting dressed in the morning in my teacher-appropriate red/pink/white clothing even though it was freezing out. I curled my hair and put on a little bit more make-up in anticipation for the evening. I quickly hurried to Ryan’s apartment after work with my sparkly mushy card in hand awaiting all that he had planned.

He opened the door and….. looked at me like I was crazy. Yep, he forgot!

He quickly realized the disappointment on my face, realized it was Valentine’s Day (I think the HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY card may have given it away), and apologized more times than I can count. He insisted on taking me out to dinner, and we finally found the only place that didn’t have a wait agreed on dinner at Azteca.

After I stopped pouting powdered my nose in the mirror, we had a great dinner and decided to go back to Ryan’s afterwards for a movie and some cuddling. We rented the movie Valentine’s Day, burrowed ourselves under a blanket and just enjoyed each other’s company.

That night was a big reality check for me. Everything surrounding me told me I needed BIG gestures, and needed that night to be a BIG deal. But did I? Nope. What I needed was me, my man, and TIME TOGETHER. What I needed to realize was that we showed each other love each and every day of our lives. One day did not define our relationship or our love for each other.

THIS year, we are happily married and have a little bit better understanding of some of our expectations.

I like some of those cheesy gestures like cards or chocolates, and he likes a quiet evening home.

THIS year, I already have a few things in the works to surprise him with.

 (Read: a couple’s massage. I think it is a serious win-win.)

THIS year, I know I am going to cherish that time together celebrating the thing that first brought us together:

love.

midweek confessions...

What a week so far!

•  My student teacher is more exhausting than my students.  It has been a very good, but very difficult thing to guide someone who is in their LAST quarter before full time student teaching...who doesn't have a clue.  I vented to my principal yesterday...and may have teared up a bit.  Yep.  In front of my boss. 

• I haven't made dinner in almost a week.  Unless you count the rotisserie chicken we got, and the steamed broccoli I put in the microwave, and the low-fat crescent rolls I put in the oven.  Other than that... we have either eaten out, or eaten leftovers from our fridge.
• I have six loads of laundry sitting on my couch and living room floor right now.  My poor husband has to run downstairs {naked} to get his clothes in the morning for work!  Thankfully we have stained glass on our front door... and then the living room windows back up the woods.  I'm sure he is very appreciative that I shared that he runs around naked.

• I have been late to work every. single. day. this week.  Luckily for me, 'late' isn't that big of a deal for teachers.  As long as I'm prepared for the day... coming in a few minutes after our contracted time just means I stay a few minutes later in the evenings. 

• Part of the reason I haven't made dinner, or folded the clothes is because I have had meetings every night!  Not sure normal for me, but not uncommon.
• Our TV hasn't even been turned on this week.  Shocking.

• This morning I was putting some tortilla chips in a bag for me for lunch... and promptly dropped the bag on the ground, scattering chips everywhere.  Did I pick them up?  Nope.  Because I know they will be waiting there for me as soon as I get home. 

• I broke my toe (it's the one with the cut on it)on Sunday.  Luckily the swelling/bruising has gone down quite a bit and it isn't as painful to walk on.  I did it while tripping over a TV stand that I {thought} was pushed against the wall, but my hubby had been looking for something and pulled it out.  But because I was trying to find something in the dark without having to turn the light on... I tripped.  And broke my toe.  Ouch. 

• And last but not least... I am SO NERVOUS to have my writing be displayed TOMORROW, February 9th over at Jordan's blog Wide Open Spaces as a guest blogger for Valentine's Day week!  As I have been reading everybody's writing I keep doubting that mine is any good. 

• And that is the truth... because that is what confessions are all about....right?  Hope you enjoy my V-Day reflections tomorrow!

the wedding: under the cherry blossoms

Make sure you read the wedding: the morning of, the wedding: getting ready, the wedding: the dress, and the wedding: the first look!

the wedding: under the cherry blossoms

Growing up, my family went to the same church from the time I was 4 until I was 19.  My parents were married at this church.  My three brothers were baptized.  I went to Sunday school and then youth group there.  It was my family.

As you came up the driveway to the church, it was lined with cherry trees.  Not small bushes, but large trees.  The first time I remember seeing them was when I was about 6 years old.... I stood under them as the wind surrounded me in petals and a sweet fragrance, and I thought {this is where I want to get married}.  Every time we would drive up to go to church or an event...I thought {this is where I am going to get married}. I even marked on my calendar the weeks that the trees bloomed so that I could plan my {someday} wedding around those dates.

Eventually my family left that church, and joined a new church family...where I then met my husband.  At first it was extremely difficult, but looking back, I know that during that time I grew closer to God and found a new family...and a husband.

After we got engaged, and then decided on our old church to hold the ceremony, and picked a date in the spring... I realized.  There would be cherry blossoms.  It didn't cross my mind until I was driving up the driveway for a meeting...and saw the beginning buds on the trees.  My mind raced back to all of those memories...and I sat sobbing in the car realizing.... {THIS} is really good to happen.

These pictures hold a special set of memories... they bring back a flood of images and smells in my mind of my childhood...and really are proof to me that miracles can happen.

Here is where the tears happened.  Right here.

I had dreamed about this moment for a long, long time. 

These pictures are taken on the side of the church... it was the perfect backdrop. 

 

 

 

I finally got my dream... to be married in the Spring...under the Cherry Trees. 

{L.O.V.E}

the wedding: the first look

Make sure you read the wedding: the morning of, the wedding: getting ready, and  

the wedding: the dress!

the wedding: the first look

Walking into the field.... I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.  I was SO excited, nervous, and most of all...emotional!

Ryan was standing out in the field... and I started walking towards him.  

I love, love, love this progression of pictures.  I framed them in a 7 spot vertical frame... so I can remember it everyday.  

 

 And then I cried.

  Showing off my dress.  I had talked about it for SO long...and he hadn't gotten to see it until this moment!

  LOVE this picture.  It is framed and in our bedroom.  

  

  

So excited that we are {almost} husband and wife. 

 Looking at these make me remember how HAPPY I was that day.  So much joy.  

 

 Another favorite.  

On to more pictures!  Our first look moment was SO special to me... definitely a moment I will never forget!