I think my heart is lonely.  

look... I'm back so soon!

In trying to be more faithful to my blogging, I am going to enter right now.  Mostly because since I have been on break I can't sleep, so I am up right now... blogging.

I think I need to slow down.  My whole life I have been going at warp speed.  Walking at 8 months... kindergarten at 4... never mind, let's put her in 1st grade even though she is only 4!... going to college in high school... becoming a teacher while I am still a teenager... for the most part I think my life is on fast forward. 

Well, I am no 20.  20 years old.  And I think, in my head, I feel like I should be either a) about 15 again... or b) about 25.  Most of the time, I think I should be about 25, married to a great guy, and have a child on the way.  But then I remember, I JUST turned 20.  Yep... 20.  

I want, SO badly, to have a man in my life that is special.  Yes, a boyfriend.  Trust me, God and I have had quite a few talks about this one.  I've waited... never had one... read all the books... talked with people... seen experiences I DON'T want by looking at some of my peers... I feel like I am a nice person... yet NOTHING.

Nope.

Nothing.

Not even a single person.

Now, that being said, I am not the greatest at going out and searching!  Not that I am 20, that sort of helps... I'm no longer a teenager (I was still a teenager!...I can't believe it...) but my life is TOO BUSY FOR A LOVE LIFE.  I have to keep telling myself that.  Where would I find the time?!?!  I keep telling myself... I have enough on my plate... such as

professors

teaching

parents

siblings

26 children I have to teach

my life

my friends

and blogging :)

Where would I squeeze in a relationship?  I just know I could though... and it would be great.  I want a man in my life.  Sometime somewhat soon.  Okay... now.  

But, I still wait.  And I am OK with that... most of the time :)  I really am though.  I have my Lord and my Savior who is the man I am so deeply in love with and whom I am learning to put my whole life into so that I can worship him as he should be worshiped... giving fully of myself to him.  And that is all I need.  

I'm learning... a work in progress... and hopefully will always be!  It would be nice though to have someone to learn WITH.  As in WITH me... next to me... I guess I will continue patiently waiting.  
Well, it's now WAY past my bedtime... and I was planning on getting up early tomorrow... now that is NOT going to happen... oh well.  I'm on break.. right?

More to come... and it feels great to be back. 

I am going to try and be more faithful

I have not been a good blogger.  I am good at following other blogs... but updating mine... not so much.  Must be because my life is consumed by many people these days.  They include my mother, father, 3 brothers, friends, my mentor teacher, professors, and oh yeah... 26 children.  

I am going to try and update this more often so that I can have some sort of documentation of my life as a student teacher. I love my kids more than anything... sometimes they try my patience, but most of the time I just want to take them all home. 

Pray for Gabe, Brendon, Brandon, Kylea, and Jorden... these are some of my kids that I think need it the most. :)  

Let's see if I can do better... I shall try.