cancer.

My paternal grandmother died from breast cancer 2 years after I was born. I don't have any memories of her, but I hear she was a wonderful woman of the Lord and was loved by many. She has been my main connection to 'knowing someone with cancer.'

This week, I was completely floored by news that a close friend from church was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is 41, married, and has a 2nd grader and a 6th grader. She went in for her 2nd ever mammogram, right on schedule with another close church friend. One got negative results, and one turned up positive. In less than three weeks, she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, had her left breast removed, as well as 15 lymph nodes, and just got back results that 11 of those had cancer. Today was her cat scan, bone scan, and some other tests.

Cancer has never hit me this close before. I have babysat for her kids since Emily, the youngest was born. I have house sat, 3 years in a row, over Thanksgiving so that their family can go on vacation. She teaches preschool at my church. I am at a loss for words because it has hit me so hard. I cannot even imagine my own mother having breast cancer. She is an amazing woman, and I am not quite sure how I am going to live without her; she is my rock and strong hold.

I have a hard time talking about it... because all I can think about is my own mother which I know is selfish, but true. We have been praying for her, and getting updates, but I can't imagine what her and her family are going through. More will be known in the coming weeks, but for now... I guess all we can do is pray.