Part Seven
(Read part one and part two and part three and part four and part five and part six first.)
I was kind of excited to go to Bible Study the next week. I was getting more comfortable around people. Having a Monday night group with a great group of godly woman, and then having a Wednesday night group with my peers. I felt like I was fully investing my life in God and putting my full focus on him. And he started to work on piecing my broken heart back together.
Life felt better.
It was easier to smile.
At my Monday group, I shared my story and was supported by an amazing group of Christian mentors. I felt like God placed each and every one of them in my life to support me, challenge me, help me grow, and to just love me.
Wednesday night group gave me a sense of belonging, made me feel like I could have friends. People who I could go and do things with. People who were teaching me how to have healthy relationships again.
That Wednesday, I was excited to see this mystery guy again. If not for anything but just to see those blue eyes. Man, they just would draw you in!
He didn’t say much that night, but when I asked what type of dessert I should bring the next week, he quickly said brownies. I filed that away in my brain to remember to make brownies for next week’s group.
God was starting to break down some of those barriers and walls I had around my heart.
That week, brownies it was. I got there early with Kim, and was kind of nervous about seeing this guy again. I still didn’t know his name!
Everyone got settled in…and he wasn’t there. Darn.
About 20 minutes into group, he showed up. And guess what? There was an open seat right next to me on the couch. As in… RIGHT next to me. He could have sat somewhere else, but he sat right next to me.
Now, normally, I would have completely frozen and not have known what to do. He was sitting SOCLOSE to me…but for some odd reason…it just felt… okay. I felt like God was telling me not to run. Not to hide. Not to be scared. That this was just…good.
After group, as soon as we got in the car, Kim and I gushed the WHOLE way back about how CLOSE he was sitting and we were still trying to figure out his name!
That next week was Spring Break. I was spending it hiding from my life down with a friend. We were just going to enjoy sleeping in, shopping, relaxing, cooking, baking, and going out a few times.
That meant I wasn’t going to get to see him that week.
But….I had this bookshelf. In my classroom. And I am awful at putting things together.
So, my brilliant idea to see if he might be interested…without really making the first step… was to e-mail my bible study group to see if someone could help me. If he responded, great. If not, great. Oh, and I finally figured out his name! Ryan. I liked that name.
Sure enough…I e-mailed. He responded. And that’s when I chickened out. I just let him know that I had it done by someone else, but Thank you so much! for the offer.
That next week and Bible Study…he didn’t show up. But at that point, it was okay. I felt like my life was on the mission. I felt like my heart was in the right place. And I didn’t need him to make me have a reason to go to group. I wanted to go to group. He was just a bonus.
Our bible study leader asked us to all sign up for times to work during a church service monitoring our table so that people could ask questions during what we call “Group Link”.
I always go to the night services, so I signed up for the 6:30.
And what do you know. So did he.
Same time.
That next Sunday was going to be a big night in my life.
To be continued…
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