Part Three
(Read part one and part two first.)
October rolled around and I finally came to my senses and ‘broke up’ with him. Except, we weren’t really broken up because we were never really ‘together’. But it was definitely a break up. My heart felt…shattered. I felt like a piece of me was missing, and it was never going to be returned.
He didn’t make it easy. The calling. The texting. Showing up, just to visit, but having a whole other agenda in mind.
He had helped me set up my classroom, and everything in it reminded me of him. I had a student with the same name and could hardly look at him.
He had helped me move into my own apartment, and everything around me brought back a flood of memories: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I wanted to just forget. To heal. But he kept coming around.
So, for three MORE months, I was in limbo with him.
My heart would jump when he would text me. Grab lunch with you? Of course. Go bowling just for fun? Wonderful. Come to the company party with you? What could it hurt.
I kept putting myself in situations that did not let me heal and let him keep stringing me along.
My heart still felt broken, but it felt like when he was around, there was hope it would heal. I think it really was just a mask, a distraction, from the brokenness. He couldn’t heal it. He just made it worse.
I had to learn the hard way that only HE can heal brokenness. And only HIS perfect love would satisfy me.
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