I think my heart is lonely.  

look... I'm back so soon!

In trying to be more faithful to my blogging, I am going to enter right now.  Mostly because since I have been on break I can't sleep, so I am up right now... blogging.

I think I need to slow down.  My whole life I have been going at warp speed.  Walking at 8 months... kindergarten at 4... never mind, let's put her in 1st grade even though she is only 4!... going to college in high school... becoming a teacher while I am still a teenager... for the most part I think my life is on fast forward. 

Well, I am no 20.  20 years old.  And I think, in my head, I feel like I should be either a) about 15 again... or b) about 25.  Most of the time, I think I should be about 25, married to a great guy, and have a child on the way.  But then I remember, I JUST turned 20.  Yep... 20.  

I want, SO badly, to have a man in my life that is special.  Yes, a boyfriend.  Trust me, God and I have had quite a few talks about this one.  I've waited... never had one... read all the books... talked with people... seen experiences I DON'T want by looking at some of my peers... I feel like I am a nice person... yet NOTHING.

Nope.

Nothing.

Not even a single person.

Now, that being said, I am not the greatest at going out and searching!  Not that I am 20, that sort of helps... I'm no longer a teenager (I was still a teenager!...I can't believe it...) but my life is TOO BUSY FOR A LOVE LIFE.  I have to keep telling myself that.  Where would I find the time?!?!  I keep telling myself... I have enough on my plate... such as

professors

teaching

parents

siblings

26 children I have to teach

my life

my friends

and blogging :)

Where would I squeeze in a relationship?  I just know I could though... and it would be great.  I want a man in my life.  Sometime somewhat soon.  Okay... now.  

But, I still wait.  And I am OK with that... most of the time :)  I really am though.  I have my Lord and my Savior who is the man I am so deeply in love with and whom I am learning to put my whole life into so that I can worship him as he should be worshiped... giving fully of myself to him.  And that is all I need.  

I'm learning... a work in progress... and hopefully will always be!  It would be nice though to have someone to learn WITH.  As in WITH me... next to me... I guess I will continue patiently waiting.  
Well, it's now WAY past my bedtime... and I was planning on getting up early tomorrow... now that is NOT going to happen... oh well.  I'm on break.. right?

More to come... and it feels great to be back. 

I am going to try and be more faithful

I have not been a good blogger.  I am good at following other blogs... but updating mine... not so much.  Must be because my life is consumed by many people these days.  They include my mother, father, 3 brothers, friends, my mentor teacher, professors, and oh yeah... 26 children.  

I am going to try and update this more often so that I can have some sort of documentation of my life as a student teacher. I love my kids more than anything... sometimes they try my patience, but most of the time I just want to take them all home. 

Pray for Gabe, Brendon, Brandon, Kylea, and Jorden... these are some of my kids that I think need it the most. :)  

Let's see if I can do better... I shall try.    

a very long time ago, I blogged.

I realize that I haven't been on here in quite some time.  Funny thing is, I get quite annoyed when other blogs I read are not updated on a daily basis.  However, my life has been full of being a teacher, and I LOVE IT.  So, now I am going to settle in and watch one episode of Season 4 Grey's Anatomy which I got on DVD in preparation for Thursday's 2 hour season premier of Season 5.  

School starts next week and I am dreading every minute of it. Which is why I am spending so much time enjoying no reponsibility right now and staying under my covers as much as possible. :)

another adventure.

After reading my daily blogs (which include a few SPU people, one wedding photo blog, and a few others) I got inspired to write on my own blog.

I am currently in Seattle at my friend Sarah's apartment because we are leaving in the morning for HAWAII! I am beyond excited for this little adventure, and I can't wait for it to begin. We are currently documenting every part, including the ferry ride over here... maybe a few pictures in the morning while we are getting ready :)

I can't wait to step off of the plane and feel the heat, smell the flower-e smell and enjoy the BEACH.

I CAN'T WAIT!

God is good.

I just found out that my little buddy from camp got all of his scans back, and THEY ARE ALL CLEAR!!!! I am so incredibly happy for Diedra, Kailin, and Jay... I can't even imagine how excited they are. Let's hope and pray that his scans in November show the same! Oh, and if you want to check him out, his website it www.prayforjayellis.com. What a great day!!!

what camp is all about.

I know that I already posted about Camp, but to me, this IS the picture of camp. This is Kailin, who is 8 years old. Kailin's little brother Jay was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago. In that time, Jay has crashed 8 times, gone through chemotherapy, radiation treatment, his Dad walked out on them, he lived at home with family, moved in with his grandparents, lived in the Ronald McDonald house, and dealt with his family falling apart. But in the moment of camp, when he shot off his homemade rocket with Chad, he was living in that moment, and fully living in that moment; nothing else in the world mattered: he was a kid.