verses in my head.

Phillipians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Psalm 46:10

Be still and know that I am God.

wednesday words.

Rough day in the classroom today.  But great support from my friends. :)

Ran for 45 minutes today.  The most I have ever ran in my life... combined. :)  Should be sore tomorrow, but that is just fine with me. 

Saw the apartment today... and it is just what I want.  We shall see.  Be still and know that I am God.  That verse keeps running over and over in my head. I am trying to be patient and see God working in my life.  I"ll get back to you on how that is going.

That's all for tonight.  I am off to watch one of my guilty pleasures... the Bachelorette.  I just love that show.  I'm really liking Jake and Ed and Kipton.  I think that Dave and Wes should have been gone a long time ago.  Maybe they just keep them around for the drama.  

More tomorrow... should be a great day!

Oh, and I am LOVING the warm sunny weather here in WA.  Have to enjoy it while we have it... so I sat out in the hammock for an hour today! :)

two days in a row!

I am feeling motivated to write on here for many reasons:

1. A lot is going on in my life right now and this is a good way to process it.

2. I set a goal.  And most of the time, that works for me.  I like to accomplish things.

3. I have a bunch of extra time right now. 

So today.  

I worked at the gym in the morning.  It's kind of weird having 2 jobs right now.  But, at the gym, I had my first day where I was working independently.  I signed up 2 new members!  Oh, and at one point, I was alone in a gym with 5 strong men working out.  It's a pretty okay job. :)

Then, I met up with my friend J, (one of my friends who is making some poor decisions right now but I still love.  She is also a fairly new-er-ish friend.  Is that even a word?) and we worked out at the other gym.  But, before she came, I worked out all by myself.  So, that is 3 workouts today.  2 things: Sore, and Progress!

After that I ran over to Thomas's baseball game... and it was a bit exciting!  There was a girl pitching... and I think her strategy was to just throw the ball at the player.  As in, try and HIT our team.  She hit my Thomas.  Then, she hit Jason.  The next time he got up, her first pitch almost hit him in the head again but he was quick enough to drop to the ground.  Her second pitch nailed him right in the back.  Ouch.  She was kicked out of the game.  He was taken off in tears... but returned to play.  

I then quickly headed over to my brother's band concert.  Painful.  Except for one kid who SANG and  it was gorgeous.  

I now have a new thing to pray about: I was offered an apartment today.  And I want to take it REALLY BADLY.  But currently, money is a bit of an issue.  But it is a really good price, and everything is included.  I am going to go and see it this week.  Will you pray with me about that?  I know that God will provide if it is his Will; but sometimes I have a hard time just being patient.  I like to make things happen.  "Be still and know that I am God" I am working on following that verse VERY CAREFULLY. 

On a stranger note, "Little April Rose" turned out to be a fake.  I feel kind of... cheated.  I have been praying for this baby and her family... and now it was all a big hoax.  Part of the blogging world I guess.  Its so strange to me to think that people actually read this blog as well. :)

That is about it for today.  Back in the classroom tomorrow...4th grade! So excited!

monday post... on monday!

It's Monday and I am posting!

Pretty uneventful day.  Worked at the gym today which was pretty fun.  Met "Will" the new personal trainer.  Let me tell you... I would pay the 65 and hour just to watch him work out.       Enough said.  

Ran some errands... thought about a certain person... listened to loud music... prayed while driving... cried a bit while driving (why does that ALWAYS happen?!?!?!)

Did a bit of shopping... helped the brother with a school project... drove back to my place... and ready to go to bed so I can face the day tomorrow!

Things I am currently praying about:

Little April Rose

My family

My future

A certain someone

My students (Jorden and Gabe in particular)

Donna and Cindy

Sarah

McMamma and Stellan

Oh, one more thing.

I have been having a rough time recently feeling isolated.  And maybe that is because I have been struggling in the area of friendship.  I"m going to get kinda honest here and blunt.  Watch out.  

Recently, I have been watching my friends make some pretty big decisions in their lives... and I disagree with their choices.

For example: sleeping with your 'I don't really know what we are' friend/boyfriend/boytoy; moving in with your boyfriend; living with your fiancee...

I don't know exactly where I am going with this... but maybe just that I feel like I need some new friends with good solid morals!  That being said, I have some great friends.  Wonderful friends.  Amazing friends.  Solid Christian, grounded friends that I love dearly. 

But again, that being said: I seem to have issues with friendship.  I"ll just say it.  Maybe it is me.  And maybe that is why I am cautious about saying anything about these bad moral decisions my friends are making.  I don't want to end up all alone.  I don't want to end up without any friends.  My friends know my take on things... they know my opinion and stance.  But I don't push it on them every chance I get.  

However, I can't really seem to hold onto 'good' friends for too long.  High school friends: I have 2.  One lives in Cali, and one in Hawaii.  College: I started out with about 10 close friends.  Of those 10, I see one on a regular basis.  4 of them I no longer talk to.  One I am in the process of starting to maybe kind of rekindle things with.  We shall see.  There is still a lot of pain and hurt there.  Forgiveness has been given but trust is a whole other ball game.  

So currently, I only have a few friends that I see on a regular basis.  I have 1 really good amazing friend who makes horrible life decisions, 1 really close solid, grounded, amazing friend who I can talk about everything from Baseball to God, evil, cracker jacks, and Hannah Montana with, and the other person I have been spending quite a bit of time with... has no idea that I sometimes find it difficult to breath and get my heart to beat at a normal speed around him.  But can I tell him that? No.  

Friendship.  Its tough.  And it gets me thinking... am I a good friend?  Is it me that pushes people away?  If I can't keep friends... am I ever going to be able to keep a man in my life?  

Oh man... writing sometimes just make my head spin around so fast and I have all these thoughts that just RUSH to my finger tips.  

If you are still reading this, I commend you.   

I think that is all for right now.  Good thing I have Tuesday to write as well. 

weekly review?

Since I have been so bad about posting each day on here... here is my weekly review!

Monday:

2nd grade!  The kids were great, and we had a wonderful wonderful time.  Then I went to Thomas's baseball game... which I always love doing.  They are just so fun to watch... and I love baseball!

Tuesday:

Working at the gym in the morning... signed up a person all on my own (with lots of help from Lisa!).  Got my haircut.. oh what an exciting life I have.  Jackie's bridal shower... which was just great.  Except, it made me have that nagging feeling again like I am 'slowing down' and I need to 'speed up'.  I have to keep reminding myself to be happy and content right where I am.  "Be still, and know that I am God."  Still working on that.

Wednesday:

4th Grade!  Love those kids... felt kind of bad because at times I overstepped the student teacher... but we had a wonderful time.  Then I RUSHED out of school so that I could race to the ferry and run aboard RIGHT before they closed the gate.  Plus it was 90 out... oh my.  But, it lead to 2 of my favorite things to do: baseball and hanging out with a good friend!  All in all, a wonderful evening... great conversation... and the M's won! 

Thursday: 

Gym!  It was fun... got to work out and get paid... what a deal! :)

Friday:

4th grade again.  We had just a great time.  Except... talent show.  One word: PAINFUL.  Think: 2nd graders singing off-key love songs... with no background music.  Oh, and the SAME song THREE times.  Again: PAINFUL

Saturday: Housesitting an adorable puppy... and a big old dog whom I loved... Thomas's baseball game again (they won which means they move on in the playoffs!)... that's about it

Sunday: Church.  Sidenote: I love going to church.  It gets me all... centered... to face the week.  Costco (I am really that predictable) Housesitting... home.  Transformers on the big screen... pretty good!

And now.  I am sitting here.  All alone.  Great.  I'm excited that school is getting out so that I can hang out with all of my friends that are still in school.  I'm excited for summer and warm weather.  I'm excited for what looks like it could be an interesting summer in my life.  I'm excited for new things.  

But right now... I kinda wish I had someone to be excited about it all with!  

But, enough about that for now... my goal this week is to post EVERY DAY.  Oh, and to loose 5 pounds.  In one week.  Yep... :)

busy...but not

It seems like my life has been SO busy recently... but then I think about it and it actually hasn't.  I'm off to run a few more errands... and hopefully when I get some down time I can post exactly what my life has been like for the past week.

Also, please pray for "April Rose"... she was born this morning...alive! :) http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/

Praise the Lord!

excitement!

I am sitting here getting ready for my day and I am SO EXCITED!  There is something about getting to hang out with the kids outside of a strictly education setting and letting loose for some fun!  

Granted, we are just going to the Washington History Museum, but at the same time, we are not at school in the classroom. :)  I love love love my kids sooooo much that sometimes I just can't even express it.  There are definite ups and downs (read: sending kids to the office, when they don't turn in their work, get into fights, make poor decisions, have parents call upset about something, and those kinds of things...) but honestly, I just love it all.  

I think that may be sometimes how God feels.  Here I go into my 'deeper' thoughts that always go through my mind.

When we set time aside to just 'be with God' either during a quiet time in the morning or evening or whenever, I think God is probably pretty excited to 'hang out' with us.  I'm sure that he loves when we study in a group or go to church but I just think he is probably as giddy as I am when we spend time with just him: no agenda, but pure love. 

He knows that we are going to mess up, he knows that we will make poor decision, have consequences for our actions, and sometimes be in a bad mood.  However, he also knows what is in store for us, what our future looks like, and how what we are doing today shapes us for tomorrow.  

One of my most favorite worship songs is called 'You are Good' and it was written by a girl at my new church, which by the way, I LOVE, and it has been my recent 'anthem' in times of unknown.  

You are Good

I don't always know where I am going

But I know who I am following

I can't always see far down the road

But I know you'll tell me where to go

So I go

I will follow

So let us take this journey one step at a time

I'll walk strong in knowing your hands holding mine

Cause you are good

You are good

You are good

You are good

You'll telling me to fix my eyes on you

To lay down my pride and turn to you

Knowing that you have seen it all through

Teaching me to trust you

So I'll try

So I go

I will follow

So let us take this journey one step at a time

I'll walk strong in knowing your hands holding mine

Cause you are good

You are good

You are good

You are good

And when I fall away

You bring me to my knees

To the cross where your love has endured all things

To the cross where your love has endured all things

To the cross where your love has endured all things

Let us take this journey one step at a time

I'll walk strong in knowing your hands holding mine

Cause you good

You are are good

You are good

You are good

I should probably go and finish getting ready for the day.

I get to go and hang out with one of my best friends tonight after the field trip. :) So much to look forward to. :)