deeper...

This past week, something happened in mine and R's relationship that made it go...deeper. Granted, it was NOT the kind of situation that I EVER want to find myself in again until it is the right time, but we found ourselves in a situation that came with enough stress to last me for a looonnnggg time, and may have resulted in a gray hair or 2. Or 50.

But in the midst of all of that stress, tears, worry, and fear, our relationship grew. It grew stronger. Deeper. And made me realize how much I truly love this man. How I want to spend the {rest of my life with him}.

I have never met someone who can reassure me or calm me down like he can. How he can grab hold of my mess of anxiety and smooth it out. How he can listen. How he can just hold me. How he can force his way into the bathroom and sit on the floor with me and just hold me. At a moment where I thought I just wanted to be alone and cry, he knew that what I really needed was love. He knows that, because he knows me {like no one else does}.

One of the most special, personal, and intimate moments I have ever had with him is when we {prayed} together. Wow. That feeling of coming together as a couple and praying to our heavenly Father, thanking him for our blessings, and asking for His will to be done in our relationship and His way to be shown, was amazing. A very special moment I will treasure forever.

He has been the most encouraging, caring, sensitive, understanding, and supportive person. And I am forever grateful for that. I could not ask for a better man.

We are both learning from God's perfect love how to love each other better. How to continue to work on our relationship. How to put God at the center. How to love like he loves us.

{Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.}

feeling off...

Today I am feeling...off.

That's the best I can do to describe it.

I woke up early. It was 80 degrees by 7:30 this morning. Not usual for us at all.

Meeting at summer school. Set up my classroom. Felt stressed about the unknown and chaos of it all.

Came 'home' AKA Ryan's house. He came home.

I fell asleep on his couch.

He set up his tent outside. On the porch. Yes, on the porch. The reason being? He wants to go camping.

Then got pizza. And came back and watched the Mariners. And kind of sat in silence.

I think we are both tired. It has been a long week for both of us.

I think we both need a good nights sleep. And maybe some space. And some air conditioning.

Tomorrow we hopefully will both sleep in.

Then we are headed down to my friend's wedding. I set them up. And now they are getting married.

And then maybe we are going camping for a night? And hopefully resting some.

I start summer school next week and it will be a crazy fast 20 days of teaching. And then summer will be almost over...and I am still unemployed.

Trying not to dwell on it and trust God, but its difficult. I know he is testing my patience. And I'm trying to trust him. Trying being the key word.

R just made coffee. I'm blogging. And he's texting me. While sitting next to me. He's pretty much the most adorable thing ever. I love him.

So that is my story of the day.

back to blogging...

I think I am on a roll here now... at least a few days of blogging in a row. I guess that's what happens when your whole world for the past 10 months just stops suddenly. Still having some mixed emotions about that right now, if you couldn't tell.

Today I spent the day cleaning in my classroom...trying to get everything boxed up and put away. R was at a conference Thursday and Friday so I stuck to trying to get as much done as possible. I hit the wall today after about 6 hours of cleaning. It's amazing how much STUFF I accumulated this school year!

My wonderful brother came over and helped me bring boxes up the stairs to my apartment...which is now STUFFED full of teaching stuff...and I still have one more load at school. Ugh.

Tomorrow the plan is for me to drive up to R's sister's house for Ian's 7th birthday. He called me "Aunt Katie" last week and sent me an invitation. How could I say no??? R has to work, so he is going to come up later in the evening and we can spend time with part of his family. I'm thinking a spider man shirt is in order for Ian...what 7 year old DOESN'T like Spider Man???

I'm headed over to R's right now...he just called and said he was almost home. I'm hoping to get some pictures of us tonight...hopefully. I normally am not a fan of pictures of myself, but we'll see...maybe one of them will land here on my blog. :)

summer...

Today was my first day of summer vacation.

Crazy.

I have completed my first year of teaching and LOVED every minute. I know that when God was creating me, he made me to be a teacher. It is my passion, my true love, and what I was meant to do.

I have been full of all kinds of mixed emotions today. It truly is a bittersweet ending. While I am so glad to have completed this year and so glad that I am now on break, it is also very difficult to be done. TO be done doing what I LOVE to do. And not know what the future holds for my teaching career.

I was packing up things today in my classroom when I received permission to go and visit my student who is currently staying in a mental health facility. So while I didn't get half of what I wanted to do done, I was able to go and spend some precious time with him.

So while it is amazing and exciting this year is over, it is also sad and very difficult. I am hoping that my heart will start feeling better about this and I can start really enjoying my summer break.

And now back to those pesky report cards... :)

i didn't realize...

That people were keeping track of my blog :)

Okay, here are some more details... and YES I am being vague on purpose. But trust me, information will be shared soon. TRUST ME.

I never thought I would be one of THOSE people. Meet someone. Start dating. And you just know. You what you ask? Well... you know. Know that this is the one person you want to spend {forever} with.

While it has been crazy and overwhelming and exciting and great all at the same time...I have loved ~every~ minute of it.

Let me just gush for a minute. Or maybe two. Or maybe three. We'll see.

The other day R knew I was super stressed with school and grades and some family stuff as well. We were supposed to be headed up for his niece’s graduation the next day, we had been at a friend’s surprise party the night before and my house was a MESS. So what did he do? Got off work, came over to my house and did ALL of my dishes. And let me tell you...when I bake it sort of looks like a tornado came through my kitchen. I think every dish was out. I was able to clean the REST of my mess of a house, and he did my kitchen. No pressure, he just did it to do it for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really rough day. One of my students was really struggling and had an awful day. It was a really rough day for me to deal with and I was, to be honest, falling apart. He texted me and told me he was making dinner and I just needed to show up with a bottle of wine. I got to his house, and he had made a complete dinner: fettuccini alfredo (which he did not know was my ~favorite~), fresh bread, salad, AND he made chocolate pudding for dessert. Seriously.

One of my favorite things about R is the way he listens. He listens when I’m stressed. When I’m angry. When I’m sad. When I need to vent. When I’m worried about my kids. When my friends are having issues. He listens. But not just listening to what I say... He is actively engaged, pays attention, and CARES about what I am saying. And somehow, he can always makes things seem a little better, and a little brighter.

So that's my afternoon sharing. I love him.

procrastinating..

Okay, 2 posts in one day. Crazy.

But the trust is, I'm just {procrastinating}.

So instead of doing report cards like I should be doing, I will share some things that have recently been on my mind.

~ I realized how much it bothers me when other girls check R out. But I know why they do it. It's his eyes. They are a piercing blue. Ice blue. Sometimes very brilliant blue. Sometimes very light blue. But always a blue that makes you want to just stare. I am so happy that I get to look at them every. single. day. :)

~ This weekend, we went on quite the road trip. In total, it was almost 600 miles. But in all honestly, we had so much time to just relax and talk. We went to R's nieces graduation, down to his other sisters, to my friends graduation, then to his parent's house, and then home. It was wonderful.

That is all for now...back to report cards!

end of the year...

Currently working on:

Packing up my classroom

Grading papers

Grading papers

Grading papers

Did I mention grading papers?

Then, transferring those grades into the report cards.

And trying to write constructive comments that will help future teachers understand my kids. I want them to be as successful as they can, and the more work that I put into their report cards, the more evidence and information future teachers have about them and they can use to do what they can do to help the students learn.

But it takes a LOT of time!

Not much fun.

Although... it does help to do all of this while snuggling on the couch and eating ice cream with my love. It actually really helps. :)

More to come on this past weekend...we had quite the adventure of traveling all over the state. And visiting family. And enjoying spending time together.

Also, more to come on the end of the school year, Mexico, future plans!!!!!, and other exciting news in my life.

But for now...its back to..

Grading papers, grading papers, and grading papers.

Oh, and trying to finish up my report cards.

Oh the life of a teacher. :)