downs and ups.

This past week has been the hardest week of teaching so far this year. It's been rough. I've felt drained. Tired, beaten down, and not sure what to do. One of those OH MY GOSH WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO weeks. That being said, I love my kids. I love being with them. I love teaching. But its been rough. Really rough.

I got a new student a week ago Friday. And he is causing me to grow and stretch and figure out how to be a teacher that can teach him. And I'm not sure I can. That has lead to countless meetings. Convincing people he is not able to be in my classroom. I feel like I can't go without being 3 feet from him because I worry about the safety of my students. Oddly enough, I don't worry about my safety, just my kids safety. Especially the girls, he seems to be most interested in being physical with them. Makes me nervous and I don't like that.

I was feeling unsuccessful. Like I shouldn't be doing this.

Then my sweet little James. Oh James. That kid has lived more than he should, and he's only 11. My heart just breaks for him. They got evicted, so he showed up one morning early to do his homework and said they were moving that afternoon. I told him NO. He was not going to leave me. I cared about him and loved him too much to let him go. The end of that story is I figured out a loophole that allows them to be transported to our school because they are 'home less'. So Monday morning, they will be picked up and brought to school. Hopefully. I doubt it will last long because Mom isn't exactly on board with everything. I just want him to feel loved. I just want him to have a chance. To do better for himself. To be a kid. I guess we'll see Monday morning.

It was a good thing that I didn't have kids on Friday. I needed a day without them. So, Thursday they were testing the alarm system at our school. As in, going off for 45 minutes strobe lights and all. Crazy. 3 of us left and headed to Starbucks instead of waiting. When I got back, I decided it was the perfect time to clean up. To get organized. To do some serious planning. And boy, did I actually feel SUCCESSFUL. I stayed WAY late...as in 9 PM.

Then Friday, we didn't have kids and it was a teacher in service day. Just lots of time to have meetings. I stayed late Friday too because I am SO excited about teaching SCIENCE! Cindy, my teaching partner, and I are going to be sharing teaching Social Studies and Science. I am going to do 2 units of science, and she is going to teach social studies. So, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will teach science to her kids and mine, and she will teach social studies to hers and then mine. Can't even tell you how excited I am about this! I am doing the human body kit, and I am SO excited. I will let you know how it goes. :)

This was what I needed. To get me feeling successful again and excited. I needed this. It will force me to be even more on track of what I am teaching and be structured and organized. That is a good thing.

So, after a crazy busy week of rough and tough kids, I am feeling like I can do this. I am feeling successful. I am feeling good again.

A weight has been lifted, I am feeling successful. I am loving it. Life feels like its on its way up.